Chapter 20,

In which we look to the future

And that’s everything!  You know it all!

What now?

I told you my dream.  I’d like female domination to become so nearly universal that no heterosexually active man can escape our civilizing influence.  That can happen only through the cumulative effort of a great many women, but I don’t necessarily want you to be among them.  I want you to do what’s right for you.  No person should be a pawn in another’s crusade, however worthy.

Even more than wanting each woman to do what’s right for her, I want each woman to do right.  We have a good record so far.  We’re known for nurturance, not massacre, and we ought to keep it that way.  The techniques of female domination have tremendous potential for good, but they also have potential for mischief, whether intentional or thoughtless, and I dread hearing the news when someone uses the knowledge in this book in a hurtful way.

I’ve agonized over this.  I know such news will reach me.  Not everyone who picks up my techniques will use them with care and restraint; I haven’t always done so myself.  Still, I hope for the best.  I’d like to believe that the young women who study this book will use their newfound knowledge the way Nora did in her marriage with Joel rather than emulating my own twisted relationship with Corbett.

Women in general are decent, especially compared with men, but some are angry over past wrongs and some are irresponsible.  When the techniques of female domination become widely known, a small minority of women will misuse them.  I don’t intend it.  I don’t want it.  But I can’t prevent it.  And just a few excesses—even imaginary excesses—if widely rumored, will trigger a male-supremacist backlash.  I don’t intend that either, or want it, but it’s likely.  I’m confident, though, that the good accomplished through these techniques will far outweigh the harm, and someday we’ll all be at peace.

Men, by nature, have as much good in them as we do.  Sadly, most have been taught to keep it hid—to keep up their guard and seek control over others.  They’ve learned that good is a sign of weakness and that they have to appear strong lest they be abused and exploited.  The way to appear strong is to act mean.  Like many women, they haven’t figured out that as adults they can just say no to abuse and exploitation; they don’t feel really grown up until they begin to suffer the infirmities of old age.

Female domination offers such great hope because it gives you a way of nurturing the good in your man, of persuading him to leave behind the fears and defenses of adolescence, of encouraging him to act in accordance with the most noble of his predilections.  And it gives you a way to get started—a way to find the good in your partner.

Early in a relationship, finding the good is easy.  During courtship, a man lets it shine through, hoping it will make you love him.  Some men, like Francesca’s husband Roy, never turn it off; they’re comfortable being openly and notoriously good all the time.  Most, though, are guarded except when trying to attract a partner.  And once they’ve got a woman committed, they aim for distance and control rather then intimacy and cooperation.  They put on a bad act.  The good gets hidden away, often forever.  I’m not saying they become brutes, but they’re a disappointment compared with their early promise.  Ginny’s problems with Peter and Lisa’s with Jason are commonplace.  And Peter and Jason weren’t bad men, just scared.

If you tie your partner down so he’s helpless, he knows his bad act is no longer credible.  If you make love to him, slowly, giving him time to open up; and you look into him deeply enough, you’ll find the long-lost good.  You’ll see it.  You’ll recognize it.  And you’ll see that with a little help and nurturance, it could cast the bad act aside and reclaim its rightful place in the sun.  The good, after all, is him.  The bad act is just a collection of mannerisms learned out of fear from other bad actors.  Acknowledge the good.  Nurture it.  Encourage it.  You can make a world of difference.

Good exists in almost all men.  The good is lovable.  The good is loving.  The good deserves to be loved.  This doesn’t mean that every man is a fitting lover for you, or even that you should be able to like all men.  Our likes and dislikes are idiosyncratic.  That’s a fact of life and needs no justification.  Our sexual preferences are even more idiosyncratic.  Typically only a small minority of the men we meet will be acceptable as sexual playmates, even if the play doesn’t include fucking.

When I meet a man who doesn’t turn me on, or who finds me unattractive, there’s no problem what to do; we’re not going to have a sexual relationship.  If the chemistry is there, I’m obliged to look further before making a decision.  Can I deal with this man in good faith?  Can I nurture the good in him?   If I can’t, I oughtn’t become involved with him.  Somewhere there’s a woman who can deal with him in good faith—who can nurture the good.  Spiritually she’s a better fit for him than I am, and I ought to leave him to her.  They’ll meet eventually, and if I’ve dealt with him in bad faith or tried to punish him for the nits in his character, she’ll have to repair my damage.  Worse still, she’ll have to dig deeper to find the good in him because I will have frightened it further into hiding.

Corbett was a mistake.  Years later, when I already knew better, I was tempted to make another.  A coworker became the victim of a gentle rape, and the perpetrator was someone with whom I could easily have entered into a sexual relationship.  I was tempted to do so for the purpose of avenging her—make him fall in love with me and play with his head.  I decided against it.  It would be better to wait for him to meet a woman who fit him so perfectly, he’d fall in love on his own.  Then she could nurture the good in him, lovingly, until he could no longer see his fellow human beings as objects to be used.  I could help her by writing this book.


Peace and love be with you.

And thanks.